Find out which pattern is pushing your teen away
When conflict hits, every parent defaults to one of four predictable patterns. This free assessment identifies yours — and shows you exactly how it's showing up at home.
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When under pressure, your parenting pattern is most likely
BlameWe're all parenting under pressure. What we've discovered working with thousands of families over two decades is that under that pressure, our reactions follow predictable patterns. Yours is one of four — and once you can see it, you can change it.
Why this happens
Blame is a coping reaction — one of four predictable ways we respond when our sense of being loved or safe gets threatened. At some point, probably early in life, you developed an emotional operating system with outdated programming. Today, when your teen pushes back or withdraws, that old system activates. And you react.
What it looks like in the moment
We conclude others are the problem for not giving us what we need. We become demanding, critical, or demeaning — saying things like "This is all your fault!" or "You never appreciate what I do!"
What your teen experiences
Your teen asks two questions every day
Am I loved?
The question beneath every withdrawal and push-back
Am I safe?
The question beneath every test and boundary push
When a parent reacts with blame, teens often hear an unspoken message:
Don't have unrealistic expectations for your children or else they may become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21
The cycle
You're not having 100 different fights. You're having one fight, 100 times.
From inside the Parent from Peace journal
Your teen isn't trying to hurt you — they're reacting to your reaction. You're not trying to hurt them — you're reacting from your own pain. Once you can see it, you can change it.
A note from Rob & Edith
"For over twenty years, we worked with thousands of parents and their teens. Most Christian parenting resources form your faith. Few form your emotions. We believe you need both — because when your teen pushes every button you have, what shows up determines your influence.
"We knew this firsthand. Despite everything we'd learned, we still found ourselves reactive and disconnected. When we discovered Restoration Therapy, developed by Dr. Terry and Sharon Hargrave, everything shifted. Our home went from daily battles to real conversations. From walking on eggshells to genuine connection — even in the hardest teen moments."
— Rob & Edith, co-creators · 20+ years of family ministry
What parents are saying
Before
"I would impulsively say or do something when triggered, instead of pausing to reflect on what was going on in me."
After
"I now have a strategy to stay connected with my kids and respond well under stress — without blowing up or shrinking back. I come up with a thoughtful response instead of a reaction."
Before
"My biggest struggle was slowing down and regulating myself before the pain cycles could take over. I'd feel it coming and still couldn't stop it."
After
"I went through Parent from Peace and had a breakthrough moment. The insights brought a new sense of peace to my life and shifted my perspective. I highly recommend it to any mom or dad committed to becoming a better parent."
Before
"During difficult times I had no ability to regulate my emotions. I couldn't even name what I was feeling — I just knew things would spiral."
After
"Now I can identify my emotions quickly, recognize when I'm just coping, and move toward truth and action. I'm implementing this framework into every area of my life."
What's inside
The Parent from Peace Journal
A 90-day guided practice for parents of teens
Every day you parent from pain, the distance grows.
Every day you parent from peace, connection does.
The teen years are short. The patterns you parent from today will shape the relationship you have with your adult child tomorrow.
Get the digital journal →Digital download · $20 · Faith-based, science-backed
When under pressure, your parenting pattern is most likely
ControlWe're all parenting under pressure. What we've discovered working with thousands of families over two decades is that under that pressure, our reactions follow predictable patterns. Yours is one of four — and once you can see it, you can change it.
Why this happens
Control is a coping reaction — one of four predictable ways we respond when our sense of being loved or safe gets threatened. When things feel uncertain, you've learned to manage them. At some point, probably early in life, you developed an emotional operating system that says: if I can control the situation, I can stay safe.
What it looks like in the moment
Controlling reactions show up as perfectionism, over-explaining, lecturing, demanding, or being critical of your teen's choices. It can also look like over-scheduling, excessive monitoring, or an inability to let small things go.
What your teen experiences
Your teen asks two questions every day
Am I loved?
The question beneath every withdrawal and push-back
Am I safe?
The question beneath every test and boundary push
When a parent reacts with control, teens often hear an unspoken message:
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21
The cycle
You're not having 100 different fights. You're having one fight, 100 times.
From inside the Parent from Peace journal
Your teen isn't trying to defy you — they're reacting to feeling managed. You're not trying to push them away — you're reacting from your own fear of things falling apart. Once you can see it, you can change it.
A note from Rob & Edith
"For over twenty years, we worked with thousands of parents and their teens. Most Christian parenting resources form your faith. Few form your emotions. We believe you need both — because when your teen pushes every button you have, what shows up determines your influence.
"We knew this firsthand. Despite everything we'd learned, we still found ourselves reactive and disconnected. When we discovered Restoration Therapy, developed by Dr. Terry and Sharon Hargrave, everything shifted. Our home went from daily battles to real conversations. From walking on eggshells to genuine connection — even in the hardest teen moments."
— Rob & Edith, co-creators · 20+ years of family ministry
What parents are saying
Before
"I would impulsively say or do something when triggered, instead of pausing to reflect on what was going on in me."
After
"I now have a strategy to stay connected with my kids and respond well under stress — without blowing up or shrinking back. I come up with a thoughtful response instead of a reaction."
Before
"My biggest struggle was slowing down and regulating myself before the pain cycles could take over. I'd feel it coming and still couldn't stop it."
After
"I went through Parent from Peace and had a breakthrough moment. The insights brought a new sense of peace to my life and shifted my perspective. I highly recommend it to any mom or dad committed to becoming a better parent."
Before
"During difficult times I had no ability to regulate my emotions. I couldn't even name what I was feeling — I just knew things would spiral."
After
"Now I can identify my emotions quickly, recognize when I'm just coping, and move toward truth and action. I'm implementing this framework into every area of my life."
What's inside
The Parent from Peace Journal
A 90-day guided practice for parents of teens
Every day you parent from pain, the distance grows.
Every day you parent from peace, connection does.
The teen years are short. The patterns you parent from today will shape the relationship you have with your adult child tomorrow.
Get the digital journal →Digital download · $20 · Faith-based, science-backed
When under pressure, your parenting pattern is most likely
ShameWe're all parenting under pressure. What we've discovered working with thousands of families over two decades is that under that pressure, our reactions follow predictable patterns. Yours is one of four — and once you can see it, you can change it.
Why this happens
Shame is a coping reaction — one of four predictable ways we respond when our sense of being loved or safe gets threatened. When things go wrong, your first move is inward. At some point, probably early in life, you developed an emotional operating system that says: the problem is probably me.
What it looks like in the moment
We conclude we are the problem. We believe there's something fundamentally wrong with us — saying things like "I'm such a failure" or "I'm not good enough."
What your teen experiences
Your teen asks two questions every day
Am I loved?
The question beneath every withdrawal and push-back
Am I safe?
The question beneath every test and boundary push
When a parent reacts with shame, teens often hear an unspoken message:
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1
The cycle
You're not having 100 different fights. You're having one fight, 100 times.
From inside the Parent from Peace journal
Your teen isn't trying to make you feel guilty — they're reacting to the weight of your self-blame. You're not trying to burden them — you're reacting from a deep wound around your own worth. Once you can see it, you can change it.
A note from Rob & Edith
"For over twenty years, we worked with thousands of parents and their teens. Most Christian parenting resources form your faith. Few form your emotions. We believe you need both — because when your teen pushes every button you have, what shows up determines your influence.
"We knew this firsthand. Despite everything we'd learned, we still found ourselves reactive and disconnected. When we discovered Restoration Therapy, developed by Dr. Terry and Sharon Hargrave, everything shifted. Our home went from daily battles to real conversations. From walking on eggshells to genuine connection — even in the hardest teen moments."
— Rob & Edith, co-creators · 20+ years of family ministry
What parents are saying
Before
"I would impulsively say or do something when triggered, instead of pausing to reflect on what was going on in me."
After
"I now have a strategy to stay connected with my kids and respond well under stress — without blowing up or shrinking back. I come up with a thoughtful response instead of a reaction."
Before
"My biggest struggle was slowing down and regulating myself before the pain cycles could take over. I'd feel it coming and still couldn't stop it."
After
"I went through Parent from Peace and had a breakthrough moment. The insights brought a new sense of peace to my life and shifted my perspective. I highly recommend it to any mom or dad committed to becoming a better parent."
Before
"During difficult times I had no ability to regulate my emotions. I couldn't even name what I was feeling — I just knew things would spiral."
After
"Now I can identify my emotions quickly, recognize when I'm just coping, and move toward truth and action. I'm implementing this framework into every area of my life."
What's inside
The Parent from Peace Journal
A 90-day guided practice for parents of teens
Every day you parent from pain, the distance grows.
Every day you parent from peace, connection does.
The teen years are short. The patterns you parent from today will shape the relationship you have with your adult child tomorrow.
Get the digital journal →Digital download · $20 · Faith-based, science-backed
When under pressure, your parenting pattern is most likely
EscapeWe're all parenting under pressure. What we've discovered working with thousands of families over two decades is that under that pressure, our reactions follow predictable patterns. Yours is one of four — and once you can see it, you can change it.
Why this happens
Escape is a coping reaction — one of four predictable ways we respond when our sense of being loved or safe gets threatened. When things get overwhelming, you've learned to step back and wait. At some point, probably early in life, you developed an emotional operating system that says: if I disengage, the pain will pass.
What it looks like in the moment
We conclude there's no way to have any positive effect, so the best strategy is to avoid or numb the pain. This leads to withdrawal, disconnection, or checking out — scrolling, TV, overworking, anything to not feel the discomfort.
What your teen experiences
Your teen asks two questions every day
Am I loved?
The question beneath every withdrawal and push-back
Am I safe?
The question beneath every test and boundary push
When a parent reacts with escape, teens often hear an unspoken message:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
The cycle
You're not having 100 different fights. You're having one fight, 100 times.
From inside the Parent from Peace journal
Your teen isn't trying to drive you away — they're escalating because they feel disconnected. You're not trying to abandon them — you're depleted and protecting yourself. Once you can see it, you can change it.
A note from Rob & Edith
"For over twenty years, we worked with thousands of parents and their teens. Most Christian parenting resources form your faith. Few form your emotions. We believe you need both — because when your teen pushes every button you have, what shows up determines your influence.
"We knew this firsthand. Despite everything we'd learned, we still found ourselves reactive and disconnected. When we discovered Restoration Therapy, developed by Dr. Terry and Sharon Hargrave, everything shifted. Our home went from daily battles to real conversations. From walking on eggshells to genuine connection — even in the hardest teen moments."
— Rob & Edith, co-creators · 20+ years of family ministry
What parents are saying
Before
"I would impulsively say or do something when triggered, instead of pausing to reflect on what was going on in me."
After
"I now have a strategy to stay connected with my kids and respond well under stress — without blowing up or shrinking back. I come up with a thoughtful response instead of a reaction."
Before
"My biggest struggle was slowing down and regulating myself before the pain cycles could take over. I'd feel it coming and still couldn't stop it."
After
"I went through Parent from Peace and had a breakthrough moment. The insights brought a new sense of peace to my life and shifted my perspective. I highly recommend it to any mom or dad committed to becoming a better parent."
Before
"During difficult times I had no ability to regulate my emotions. I couldn't even name what I was feeling — I just knew things would spiral."
After
"Now I can identify my emotions quickly, recognize when I'm just coping, and move toward truth and action. I'm implementing this framework into every area of my life."
What's inside
The Parent from Peace Journal
A 90-day guided practice for parents of teens
Every day you parent from pain, the distance grows.
Every day you parent from peace, connection does.
The teen years are short. The patterns you parent from today will shape the relationship you have with your adult child tomorrow.
Get the digital journal →Digital download · $20 · Faith-based, science-backed